Ever Desperate Desperation

Let's talk about the course of life...
it flows beyond. beyond. beyond.

Summer in the land of angels. Who'd've thought we'd come this far? I never truly understood the world before. Never grasped just what it was all about. Not that I could tell you answers, but I feel like things are clicking, always clicking. And I feel like something's coming. It's just ahead, it's here now, or it's behind... but it's on the way, it's somewhere if I could only just land right in that spot and be with it, connected to it, realizing it. God! What is it??

My mind is aching with the drumroll...
makes me wish. I wish. I wish.

I still don't understand the message. Somethings drawing me a path. But I believe in freedom and choice and it's hard to let the universe take control. It's hard to just let go. But signs abound like little tariffs causing me to lose control. Control? I hardly think I understand the word anymore. The world is so ever desperate to make me something and I find more and more that I don't know just what that is. Will my dream be realized? Do I move along? There's nothing else in life that I could do. There is no world outside of this. Yet the universe throws such mixed signals. And after a day like this, what am I to expect? Did I win? I just don't know. But I am moving forward. I'm going somewhere, doing something. It's like a grace note when I realize that I have put myself out there and now I wait for just a silly little sign. What sign? Who waits for a phone call anymore?? Who sits there hoping and prodding at a thought just because it seems like that is right? Who is so obsessed with the potential and the change?

Am I this guy? I pain to say...
I can't be sure.