Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Who's Coasting?

I’m back from Vegas... I am back from Vegas and just awake again in the middle of the night wondering about all these mysteries. Like who’s happy? Like who’s sad? And who’s just coasting? Who’s coasting on the idea that they think they’re doing the right thing. More and more and more and more I can feel the stitches splitting and lending themselves to the anti. Oh boy, I’m saying. It’s the night and I can almost taste the bad in the air. Hoping tonight’ll be the night I finally explode and husk my stupid cover. Cause who wants to spend life in the nosebleeds? No sir, that ain’t for me, no sir. Why I’m supposed to be a man and I’m supposed to have all of these friends and I’m supposed to make mistakes and I’m supposed be tough and I’m supposed to regret... But I don’t wanna just be those things. I don’t. And I’m sick of all of those stupid decisions we all seem to constantly make like today is the last day of our life and we’re gonna live in fear of that but go ahead and act like nothings wrong. Well something’s wrong. And the man is disappointed with the way it’s all going. He doesn’t wanna have to put up with this constant ‘what if’ and ‘why not’ lifestyle. He just wants to jump and be on the go and be constantly and forever collecting those moments that make life life and make him want to fear death because it’s all too good and short to let slide. But right now, he doesn’t fear the big sleep. No sir, he actually doesn’t consider it a burden or anything. But he doesn’t pretend it’s his last day either... he doesn’t expect the unexpected, he doesn’t improvise like his teachers taught him, he doesn’t move and move and move and move. Most of the time he just sits their in a constant state of buzz buzz buzz. He doesn’t play his whole hand, just enough to get by.

I think I’m gonna stay awake all day and deal with this emotion I’m feeling right now, because if I don’t do something about it then it’s just gonna keep fighting me and forcing me into lamely awkward settings.

You wanna take a jump with me?

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