Wet Floor: Disappoint Me Once...

This is a random group of films. As summer winds down to a shuttering halt I'm realizing how little I've actually written about the season and the "big movies" that came out. Some of those are in here. Others just didn't leave an impression, and a select few have made it into happy happy reviews. But let's get started with the schlopp:

Cowboys & Aliens

This simply sucked. No need to go into details... though let me just say, I honestly didn't care about a single thing that happened in this movie. I really like most of the actors, but they had nothing to do. The story was pointless and unentertaining. And look, it's all good and fun to get giddy at weird crossovers like this, but they need to actually be crossovers. The cowboys were cowboys, sure. But those aliens just weren't even remotely interesting. The fun of this idea comes from getting both genres in one. But this felt like somebody said "How can we get aliens involved in the west?" then some douchebag responded "I dunno... the goldrush was around that time. Maybe they want gold." "Why?" "I dunno. Who cares?" Then they got to make the thing. Balls. That's just lame guys. This whole movie is just lame.

The Help

Totally lived up to the hype. I definitely felt a few tears during that flashback scene near the end... if you've seen it, you know what I mean. If you haven't seen it, stop surfing and go see it.

Crazy Stupid Love

I wish this was the focus of the movie. These two characters do really work.

Aptly stated, "Two of those words are right." This was so disappointing in that the trailer made it honestly look amazing. And while it did touch greatness for a few very brief moments it mostly lingered in a bogged down studio "enhanced" stupor. Apparently someone at the studio thought a major decision at the end was wrong and thus forced the filmmakers to add on an extra half hour of shite... and you feel that extra half hour let me tell you. Good performers. Mostly good writing. But somehow a camel.

30 Minutes Or Less

Not incredibly funny but not a bad time either. I had fun. It wasn't too long which certainly helped. Nick Swardson is almost always wonderful. So this is mostly a thank you to him. Thank you Nick Swardson for bringing me so much joy over so many years. Still, it's weird that this is a comedy based on true events that actually ended quite horribly. What can you do? It's Hollywood.

Friends With Benefits

Actually not a bad flick. Surprisingly so. I liked the performances and enjoyed a good deal of the humor. Though it does fall into a few cheesy moments and seems to have trouble getting out of that pit. Whatever the case, I still had fun.

Sarah's Key

A great movie. And oddly the only one on this list that I had to see alone. I guess people aren't all that interested in Holocaust stories anymore. And I get that. But sometimes it's worth it to see one when it's not the same recycled stuff. This one actually surprised me. Once I understood the significance of the title... and it doesn't take long to get there... I fell right in with this movie. Everything honestly worked for me. And I left the theatre feeling a need to live. Isn't that a good way to leave a theatre? ...or anywhere?

The Devil's Double

Despite Dominic Cooper's pretty swell performance, the overall movie here just doesn't work very well. It's awkward and disturbing and pointless all at the same time. But when it's good it is good. I'm not gonna say "Don't see it" but I will say it's okay to wait for Netflix.

Captain America was fine and you know how I felt about Attack The Block and Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes. So that pretty much wraps me up for the time being. I intend to catch Fright Night and Conan soon... but I don't know, neither one gets me too excited. Now it's just a waiting game for The Muppets, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, and A Dangerous Method. Hope you're having fun at the movies.

Adaptation Telovasion

Here's a thought, more and more frequently we've been seeing television shows coming from novels, graphic novels, and the like. While motion pictures have always had their hands in the cookie jar of librarium television has up until fairly recently remained pure. Sure there are exceptions; Poirot, The Incredible Hulk, Wonder Woman... any kids superhero show. But that's a different story too. If comics are the closest medium to film, it's only natural to take those frames and use them as a storyboard for something moving... it's a key process in filmmaking anyway, so if someone else has done that work for you anyway (and so well) you may as well use it. Huh.

But lately we've been barraged with a very popular number of adaptations in television... Game Of Thrones, The Walking Dead, True Blood, Dexter, The Pillars Of The Earth, The Vampire Diaries... it seems every major premium network (and the CW) has at least one. What's weirder is I don't mind the trend. In some small way it excites me. Think about it. We'll always have books adapted into films that are too short to get the point across. Hollywood will always allow that to happen. Earlier this year I was forced to discover that one of my favorite novels had been adapted into a shameless heap of a film. I'm talking about Atlas Shrugged, a novel that clearly deserves at least a mini-series and more rightly a three season full on series. The content in a novel like that is so massive in scope there's no reason not to put together three 10-part seasons. There's an audience for it. And the day some exec finds they've missed the opportunity, they will be reeling in their seat.

I bring this all up because I've been watching and reading Game Of Thrones in tandem. It's a very cool experience. I'm learning about this lush world and at the same time being given a visual idea of the way it all really comes together. And maybe there are elements they could have adapted better, but I'm still pretty happy up to this point. If I were show runner (I find myself thinking more and more regularly) then I know I'd try to focus on a few key things that these guys don't seem to think are necessary. But c'est la vie.

If that Dark Tower movie and series set up comes together I will be very excited. However, that's a story that calls for a great deal of attention. The specifications are written surely in Stephen King's blood and I see why the projection is being considered and reconsidered because it's true about adaptations... you always run the risk of alienating the readers who so truly love the novels they're watching be shaped into visual mutants. And you know what, I don't want to see a PG-13 Dark Tower... and I don't want to see any televised version of it on anything other than a premium network... because the events rely so heavily on violence and language amongst other things that we may find another massacre of filmdom like The Stand.

Anyway, I've rambled long enough. It's cool to see your favorite works put up on a screen wether it be large or small. But the hope and excitement is only rarely worth the final cut. What do y'all think?

A Great Month Of Sci-Fi

Anybody who knows me even a little knows I love a good Sci-Fi flick. Well in this last month I have been treated to two exceptional works of Sci-Fi.

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

While there were moments in which I found myself less than impressed, when I came out of the theatre I couldn't hold back this feeling of legitimate elation. If the movie had nothing else to offer, the work done on the character of Caesar alone would have been enough to to make me giddy... Andy Serkis (Gollum, King Kong) so masterfully folded what could have been just another Mo-Cap stick figure into a living breathing thing. The technology was brilliant. And I can't believe I get to say this right now, but for once in a Mo-Cap film I honestly believed the characters were feeling genuine emotions...

those eyes, those eyes. They breathed life. But luckily it was more than just Caesar. I can think of at least four distinct ape characters I enjoyed meeting and getting to know throughout the film... and not to spoil anything, but I was tearing up during the bridge scene. Man was that cool. Sure some of the human acting was sub par... but some of it was really quite good as well. And I feel a sense of responsibility from the filmmakers. They really care about this franchise that we've all grown up on, and if Rise manages to get a sequel (which I very much think it will) my eyes will be firmly pasted to the screen. So glad this was my birthday movie this year. So excited to see actual apes in this franchise rather than people in creepy monkey suits. I love the original and most of the sequels, but this is a beautiful reboot to what was a waning series.

Attack The Block

Possibly my favorite movie of the year. Attack The Block is both intelligent and eye-poppingly cool. The aliens were weird and different, and the premise just worked. It's so much cooler to watch a bunch of kids fight off an alien attack than, say, the military (Battle: Los Angeles sucked). Because when it comes down to it... even these characters who are nothing like me or my friends still manage to peak my interest. They didn't plan to be in this situation. They stuck themselves here completely by accident. When you watch the military take action, you're watching people who have mentally prepared themselves. Even if they break down it's not as powerful because they made a choice to be a part of this. But I'm rambling. Attack The Block so effortlessly melds the different levels of cool into a film experience I honestly had given up on this year. So here's to overcoming expectations. And that score... Perfect!

Go see both of these as soon as you get the chance. I highly recommend them for superior film enjoyment.

The Best Animated Feature Talk

So here's my query:

If Pixar isn't gonna take the award this year, who's it gonna be? Suddenly the category of Best Anmiated Feature is interesting. Most years it would seem an upset if Pixar wasn't the victor. Think about it, how many years in a row, since the category's inception, has Pixar won the prize? First two and then... Four (that's in ten years... they've won six out of the ten awards... literally 3/5ths the awards that have ever been won. That's a nuts number when you consider how many production companies have actually won the award even once. Nothing comes close. Dreamworks only has two awards to its credit. Studio Ghibli (which I love) only has one and Warner Bros defeated Cars (1) back in 2006.

We not only have a general dislike from audiences of Cars 2... but an example of the franchise coming short with the academy in years past. How many more ways can you say No?

So here's my very short list...

Winnie The Pooh

It was amazing! Perfectly suited to the source material... and a big BRAVO for non cg animation. I found myself laughing constantly. It seriously is that clever. If you haven't given it a chance, you should. If you don't want to see it at all, I suggest you stop complaining about there being no good films out anywhere.

Kung Fu Panda 2

The original was deservedly nominated. It lost to Wall E which is probably Pixar's most adult feature to date... kind of hard for a GREAT family flick to come between the academy and an actual possible human issue. But Kung Fu Panda 2 earns its moments. The reviews were all positive calling it a "worthy sequel". This is praise Cars 2 has not received.

Rango

Man this one was surprisingly adult... but that's what I hope for out of Nickelodeon as a studio. For years they've been about not dumbing down to your audience no matter the age. I'm not ashamed to admit I used to even watch Nick Jr sometimes while I was in middle school. But I'm getting off track.

Since it was such a small category last year and I don't know what other animated films are coming out (if any) before 2012, and since I despised Rio I guess that's my whole short list for this year.

Post to this. I'd very much like to hear your opinions.

Favorite Films: Modern Times

In 1936 something special happened. Charlie Chaplin brought sound to his film Modern Times. Never before had we really heard the Tramp utter a word and then we got this wonderful scene:

That's one of those classic moments you don't forget. Modern Times is one of the quirkier Chaplin flicks. There are sequences where the Tramp feels just like a cartoon character.

But despite all the craziness, this film still has so much heart. I don't normally watch old silent flicks and think about the girls I'm watching on screen, but DAMN Paulette Goddard steals my heart away every time I see this.

Between Charlie's amazing comic timing and Paulette's heartbreaking abilities to match his level this movie grasps at that unreasonable target of Perfect Film. If you've never seen Modern Times, I suggest you go down to your library or check your Netflix or whatever it is you do to catch oldies... they screen it frequently at the silent theatre and I can tell you without hesitation, there's nothing quite like the experience of seeing a great silent film with a live band accompaniment on the big screen. But don't take my word for it...

No do. Do take my word for it. This flick is great!

The List So Far:

1927 - Metropolis - Fritz Lang

1928 - Steamboat Willie - Ub Iwerks

1931 - M - Fritz Lang

1932 - Tarzan, The Ape Man - W. S. Van Dyke

1933 - King Kong - Merian C. Cooper +

1934 - It Happened One Night - Frank Capra

1936 - Modern Times - Charles Chaplin

1957 - Funny Face - Stanley Donen

1966 - Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf? - Mike Nichols

1984 - Brazil - Terry Gilliam

1986 - Labyrinth - Jim Henson

She Don't Know

Sometimes these titles make more sense long after inception than I anticipate.

This month has been a rush of craziness. It's summer, it is most definitely that. And working at a movie theatre really takes its toll during this time. Mostly on my private life. Something I am inclined to say keeps me sane. Why do I bring this up? I'm feeling emotions more strongly than I have ever allowed myself. Recognizing my negativity, or rather uncomfortableness on some very specifically off-putting occasions I've kind of been feeling myself coming back to life for the first time in a little while. I know it's passe to say this, but what people perceive of me and what I'm really thinking are usually two very different things. Sometimes it works out for me, sometimes it doesn't. But lately I've been feeling more of a connection between those two worlds (mind and mask). I've been trying to focus on stating my most honest heartfelt opinions.

Oddly enough, in doing this, I have somehow begun lying far more frequently... What?

Yes. I recognize that humor and good company call for taller tales. You may be laughing at how simple this sounds, but it has taken me a little while to recognize what I've been doing and I don't know if I care to stop.

The problem with leading by the tip of my tongue, I find, is that often people don't know how to view my intentions. If I'm giving a solid example then of course they manage to agree or at least listen. And I've been learning more and more how to make those examples flow... I am a creative creature after all.

The upside; I've found myself attempting to more positively affect peoples' lives on a regular basis.

The downside; I get angry. I try not to show it. But sometimes spite hits me after I feel I've been wronged. And I try to not let it effect the way I carry myself... but that's impossible. The funniest thing about it all is the spite stems from positivity. A lot of positivity. But as usual She Don't Know:

1. Victoria Lucas - Moby
2. Little By Little - Radiohead
3. Radio Cure - Wilco
4. Liberation In A Dream - A.R. Rahman
5. Rhythm & Soul - Spoon
6. Eine Kleine Lift Musik - blur
7. All For Leyna - Billy Joel
8. Lonely Lonely - Feist
9. One Pure Thought - Hot Chip
10. Think I'm In Love - Beck
11. Canto De Ossanha - Jurassic 5
12. Guitar Flute And String - Moby
13. Heard The World - O.A.R.
14. I Want You So Bad I Can't Breath - OK Go
15. Honey Honey - Feist
16. The Rafters - Moby
17. In A Future Age - Wilco